My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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