i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
