No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
