she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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