Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
