We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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