your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
