I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You are the jesus of drinking
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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