So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
