You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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