I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize