is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
