So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
