So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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