Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
