the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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