Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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