the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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