she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
