i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
