The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
