Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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