Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
