I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
