maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
