What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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