11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize