She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
