Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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