4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
