i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
