I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize