He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
