We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
