Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize