i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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