And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize