the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
