turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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