I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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