I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
