Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
