I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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