drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
