Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
