My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize