he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
