Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
