I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
