Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
