he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize