He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize