found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
