it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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