hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just pee around me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
