Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sober January is a disaster.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
