if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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