2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My bed smells like the plague
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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