SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
