Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's blow job season.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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