what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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