I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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