On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT