HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She announced her abortion via fbk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.